The Art of Self Reflection as Prayer. Part 1

Updated: Jun 19



On the wall in my office is a plaque that reads “Prayer is less about changing the world and more about changing ourselves.”  For me, this is a constant reminder to stay engaged in the art of self-reflection.  The only way for me to change and grow is to pay attention to my behavior, my words and my actions and choices.  This means self-reflection. Before I go on I want to clarify that I’m not talking about the battles that go on in our minds.  If I get caught up in the mind battles my self-esteem plummets.  No, I’m talking about listening to myself, paying attention to my choices and actions and the way I react to situations.  Then to make a conscious choice to evaluate objectively, without blaming and shame, what I’ve done and how I might do better. There are many ways and tools we can use to journey through self-reflection. During this series I will highlight a few.


This art of self-reflection is another way to pray.  Bringing this self-reflection into prayer is a way to build a relationship with my Creator, God.  By bringing this self-reflection into prayer it ensures that I will not abuse myself with stinkin’ thinkin’ and negative self-talk.  My Creator is a loving God, not a judging God and only brings love into the world.  So, if I hear the stinkin’ thinkin’ I know that is not love and is therefore, not from my Creator and needs to be deleted from the conversation.


So how does self-reflection work?


I like to use the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz as a model for my self-reflection by turning the agreements into questions.


1. In this situation did I use impeccable words? Did I communicate properly or do I need to go back and state things differently?


2. Did I do my best? With the tools and resources, I had to work with, did I do the best I could at the time of the situation?  Looking back if this situation occurs again what could I do differently?


3. Did I make assumptions? Have I projected any of my own past experience into the situation to make it an issue?  Did I create drama?


4. Have I been objective and allowed the other persons involved to own their own behavior and words or have I taken what was said or done personally as an attack on my own character?


Take these four questions into prayer with you tonight and every evening at bedtime, evaluate your day.  Make sure to give yourself love and appreciation for what you’ve done right and love and support to change what needs to be changed.


Prayer is only about love.


If you’d like to read more about the 4 questions take a look at Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements.



Take time for yourself – You’re Worth It!

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Kate Theriot is a group facilitator, consultant, and spiritual director

© 2020 by Kate Theriot